so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
