Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
