Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Randomize
