Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I want to have your abortion
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
