I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
not ubering you a puppy
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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