dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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