dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
