I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
