i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
