What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize