I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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