I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
