2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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