well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
