I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
