she takes plan B like it's going out of style
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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