I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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