these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize
