Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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