Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I faked an abortion last night.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
