So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
