I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
