The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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