yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I want to walk on stilts...naked
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
