It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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