jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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