So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
