Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Floor bacon is actually really good
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
