He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
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