I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Randomize
