I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
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