i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
did you just send me my own nude
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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