We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
