my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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