I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
