Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize