So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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