Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
