Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
