Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
