I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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