And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
