whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
