I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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