i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
