i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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