We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
