im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
did i just pee glitter
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
