On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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