I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
