Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
