Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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