So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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