You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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