You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Randomize
