It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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