he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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