"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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